The God Thing

I honestly don't find much comfort in the idea that God (or the Universe, or Fate, or the other myriad things I've been told to trust in) is in control. The thing you may have noticed about all these Powers That Be is that humans never get invited to the board meetings.They all have their own agendas which may or may not include keeping me alive. Think about it - you can't really say, "God's going to bring you through this," to me, any more than you could have said it to the 3 dozen people who died on a transplant waiting list this year. It betrays a rather small view of God, and a rather over-inflated perception of just how important I am in the Grand Scheme Of Things. Even the Bible is filled with numerous accounts of God wiping out entire nations for the sake of His plan. My friends in other countries are nodding in agreement, while the American readers are thinking, "But that could never happen to US. We're AMERICANS!" Fact is, no matter what your belief system or theological framework, when it comes to the decisions made by The Powers That Be, none of us hold stock in the company.


In a movie or video game in which the main character faces mortal danger, I can usually assure the kids that nothing will happen to him because, hey, that's the main character. If he dies, there's no game. There's no movie. There's no TV show. So he can't die. (Unless he's Harry Potter in which case he can die. Because it only makes him stronger when he comes back to kick some Death-Eater booty. And there's that Jesus thing too).


If only that were the case in real life. Though I may be the main character in my own story, and even in my kid's story until they're older, I'm certainly not the center of any universe anywhere. It took many years for me to be convinced of this, but I'm pretty sure I'm not. We all like to think that we're special, that it will work out for us. But if everyone is special, then where are the people that it doesn't work out for? See, someone has to make up that percentage that dies while waiting. Or that dies due to complications. Or a bad match. Or infection. Or rejection. It has to be someone. Just so long as it's someone else. But that percentage that doesn't make it? It's made up of people whose friends and families want to believe that they are also at the center of the universe, that God will make an exception for them, that Fate has more for them to do. This is the story of every surviving spouse, child, friend, and parent of someone who dies waiting for a transplant, or from cancer.


I'm not trying to be morbid. I've actually found that being realistic with myself about the possibilities and my tiny role in the Grand Scheme Of Things really helps me to have a positive outlook on the situation. Some have criticized me for not having more faith. What they really mean is that I should believe - or have a stronger belief that everything will be okay. The word "faith" as it's used in the New Testament is rooted in the Greek word "pistis." I won't digress into splitting linguistic hairs, but the general idea is that faith is "belief in the direction of evidence." I think that's a great way to approach faith. It's not simply a Pollyanna, vacuous belief that everything is going to come up roses. The idea is that when we see ample evidence that something is true, we should trust that it is. 


But that's exactly the reason I honestly don't think faith is going to change a single thing in terms of my outcome. There's a prevailing confusion in many Christian quarters that we are able to speak things into existence if he have enough faith. Never mind that this is a horrific butchering of both the language and context of the word and the writer's intention, this hermeneutical horror is perpetuated by men like Kenneth Copeland, the Oral Roberts Family crime ring, and a slew of others who make their money by preying on the sick and the old. In other religions it's known as "positive self-talk" or "positive verbal energy." This is closely tied to the so-called "prosperity gospel" in America where folks have been duped into believing that being rich and healthy is possible for anyone who believes hard enough. Hello, Mr. Copeland? The 99% would like a word with you. People who believe this stuff aren't bad - they're just wrong. Unless they're the ones teaching it to get rich. Those are the ones who are most definitely both bad and wrong. 


Anyone with even a remedial knowledge of history or religious literature knows that an overwhelming majority of the evidence speaks to death being part of life, God (or the gods, if you prefer) getting on with their plan regardless of human casualties, and nature being red in tooth and claw. With a few exceptions, the scope of Biblical evidence that "everything's going to be okay if you just have enough faith," is mighty slim. And the context of those exceptions are evidence that exceptions are made only when they serve a pivotal historic or theological purpose. I'm highly skeptical that I meet any of that criteria in the Grand Scheme. 


I studied this theology for nearly 20 years and I'm telling you - there isn't a single shred of hard evidence that having more faith affects anything. Yes, I know - your brother's niece's cousin once worked with a guy who's girlfriend was cured of warts by putting her hand on the TV with Robert Tilton and believing really hard. The only thing that proves is that our justice system is flawed because Tilton isn't locked away in a deep dark hole with other thieves and con-men. 


There's a real problem among people of faith when it comes to the word *evidence.* No matter what religion they claim, they seem to not understand the difference between anecdotal evidence and empirical evidence. But even in matters faith, the anecdotal evidence reveals that "speaking your own health" and positive self talk is not much more than wishful thinking. People still get sick and die, even those who believe strongly that they won't. 


But I don't blow the idea off altogether. There is significant anecdotal evidence that faith helps us to heal faster or even have a more positive outlook. I get that. All I can say is that believing there's a grand purpose for being sick or possibly having my life cut short brings me absolutely zero comfort. I can say with certainty that I care way more about seeing my boys get married and growing old with my wife than I do about Anyone or Anything's stupid Grand Plan or anything "working together for the good" of it. I'd rather know my grandkids, thanks. 


Here's something else I know - in my long, excruciating struggle with faith and Biblical theology, I could never digest the idea that I was unworthy of this plan, or of God because I love my father, mother, and son more than I love God (Matthew 10:37). I do love them more. I can't help it, because I'm wired to do so. It begs the question that the chamber pot is warned not to ask the potter: "Why have you made me thus?" (Romans 9:20). I will shout from the rooftops that I love my kids, wife, parents, brothers, and friends, more than I will ever be in love with a Divine Plan. If not because it's good, then at least because it's true. And lying about it for the sake of appearing spiritually mature or wise only puts me in the same camp with Kenneth Hagin and Benny Hinn, who proclaim their love of God to the world, but actually love their money more. 


In conclusion, if you want to put your hand on my blog page and send me money, I won't stop you. But don't do yourself or me the dishonesty of believing that some magical energy is going to fix all my ails. I welcome anyone's well wishes, prayers, laying on of hands, and questions of concern. Just understand that those things are possibly more for you than they are for me. My magical energy are things I can touch, hear, smell, taste. It's my kids laughter, my wife's smile, My Life by The Beatles, my friends, my family, a good glass of Pinot Grigio, fluffy cheesecake, and living simply, and it's far more than enough.  At least until I learn how to use The Force.