"(I) Don't believe the devil, don't believe his book
But the truth is not the same without the lies he made up
Don't believe in excess - success is to give
Don't believe in riches, but you should see where I live
I...I...believe in love" - Bono (God Part II)
This song has fascinated me from the first time I heard it, Bono's biting and desperate response to John Lennon's earlier song God that so bleakly insists that God is only "a concept by which we measure our pain." I disagree with Lennon's view because while true to some extent, it is overly simplistic. Bono's response illustrates the struggle we all face when it comes to knowing how things should be - how we should feel and what we should do - and what actually is, or what we experience to be true in our own lives. It's the struggle between the way we want to think about faith, spirituality, materialism, love - and the way we actually are. As with any great U2 song, Bono is conflicted. And we love him for it (or at least I do).
So many e-mails and responses to my last post; I think it needs a follow up to clarify a few things.
*Firstly, I want to say that in my last post, I'm not discussing MY faith at all - that's an issue for another time because it's complicated and very private for me at this point in my life. I have a lot of questions and struggles and I'm not really ready to put all that on public display at the moment. The issue I wanted to address was people telling me to have faith, or that they have faith, that everything will work out fine. My point was that no matter how much any of us want to believe that to be the case, the scripture itself doesn't guarantee that it will. The scripture itself promises "eternal glory" (as Siobhan so aptly pointed out in her comment on the last post) - but in this life, it promises suffering, pain, and death. That isn't just my take on the matter - if you subscribe to the Judeo-Christian theological framework, this is what the Bible teaches. My post was simply to point out that if you believe the Bible, you can't in good conscious hold the belief that "everything will work out fine" unless you mean "fine" in the eternal sense - as in, even if I don't survive all this, I'll be present with Christ. To have faith "that it will all work out" is to believe something that has never been promised to me - not by the Bible, The Universe, or anything else. Life is fragile, and tomorrow is not promised to us. I don't think anyone would disagree with that, no matter your belief system. We believe it because we have experienced it - who among us has not lost a loved one or seen life snatched away suddenly? It doesn't mean I expect things to end badly. It just means that "having faith" serves no purpose toward actual survival, because the Bible never promises physical survival (or for my non-Christian readers, the Universe, etc.). The only way to get around this fact is to cling to the heretical Faith/Wealth doctrine which is based more on Western greed and entitlement than on scripture. And even if you believe it strongly, your whole life long, in the end, life has a 100% mortality rate.
*Secondly, I want to be clear that I'm not rejecting faith as a way to help cope with difficult situations. I wholly believe that it is very helpful for many people. I would never dream of telling someone *not* to have faith that things will work out well for them. At the same time, I want to be clear that so far, empty promises of "things working out" have been of no comfort to me. Most of the time, I get the feeling that people are trying to convince themselves, more than trying to reassure me. This may be painful to hear, but it's something we all need to be reminded of when comforting one another. It's not the patient's job to reassure or comfort those around him/her. It's not that I don't care about other's worries or anxieties, I really, really do. It hurts me to see the expression on the faces of friends and family as I explain what is happening here. I want to comfort them. I believe there's a give and take, and I certainly don't want to be fussed over and coddled. Let me offer this observation: many people have prayed over me, blessed me, and shared scripture with me over the last 12 years. I don't mind this in the least, but in almost every case, I was never asked if this was something the person could do for me. I love that they care enough to do something that they think will be a comfort to me, but no one ever asks, they just assume. It's both touching and amusing because I realized long ago that they are doing this to comfort themselves. It's taught me a lot about my efforts to comfort other people in times of distress.
*Thirdly (and finally), I do however derive all the comfort and assurance I need from day-to-day life. Christie, Rich, and Brennan are life affirming to me. Their zest for life and laughter give me great hope that everything will be okay. I am uplifted and comforted by music that transcends the temporal concerns of this life - lyrics written by men like Lennon, Wonder, Bono, Jon Anderson (Yes), Neil Peart (Rush), and so on. Good food and wine have become to me a celebration of life itself. A well-told story, be it in a novel, television show, or XBox game is cause for embracing life and the timeless tradition of sharing hopes, fears, and dreams through narrative. These things, at least to me, are far better, richer, and more life affirming than either assurances that it will all work out, or promises of eternal rewards. I know - some of you cringe when I say that, but I'm just being honest. I wouldn't trade watching my kids grow up for anything - temporal or eternal. I suspect most people would.
I cling to hope. My favorite line in this song reads:
"Heard a singer on the radio
late last night,
said, 'I'm gonna kick the darkness
'till it bleeds daylight."
Here's the whole song, a wonderful dichotomy of what should be and what is. I share Bono's confusion about this, and that's just fine. When I start saying I've got it all figured out, I'm more sick than heart failure could ever make me.
God (Part II) - U2
(For John Lennon)
Don't believe the devil
I don't believe his book
But the truth is not the same
Without the lies he made up
Don't believe in excess
Success is to give
Don't believe in riches
But you should see where I live
I...I believe in love
Don't believe in forced entry
Don't believe in rape
But every time she passes by
Wild thoughts escape
I don't believe in death row
Skid row or the gangs
Don't believe in the Uzi
It just went off in my hand
I...I believe in love
Don't believe in cocaine
Got a speed-ball in my head
I could cut and crack you open
Do you hear what I said
Don't believe them when they tell me
There ain't no cure
The rich stay healthy
While the sick stay poor
I...I believe in love
Don't believe in Goldman
His type like a curse
Instant karma's going to get him
If I don't get him first
Don't believe that rock 'n' roll
Can really change the world
As it spins in revolution
It spirals and turns
I...I believe in love
Don't believe in the 60's
The golden age of pop
It glorifies the past
While the future dries up
Heard a singer on the radio late last night
He says he's gonna kick the darkness
'til it bleeds daylight
I...I believe in love
I feel like I'm falling
Like I'm spinning on a wheel
It always stops beside a name
a presence I can feel
I...I believe in love
